The War
by Everybody Lies1
Summary: When Jim throws a prank on Dwight which causes him to lose his biggest client he has crossed the line. Now thanks to Micheal, the two of them are in a prank war. Will the rest of the office be able to break it up? My second story. Please rate.Ch.3 in prog
1. Chapter 1

**I do not own The Office.**

**Sorry for any spelling/grammer mistakes.**

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It was exactly 10:30 at the office and everyone was busy at work. Even Micheal was in his own office silently sighning out some forms that Pam had given him. But even though it was a rare peacefull moment Jim had the urge to pull a prank on Dwight. A half an hour ago part of a stack of Jim's paper's in which he had sorted by date was on Dwight's desk. Dwight had pushed them off his desk with a ruler and they had all goten out of order when they fell on the floor. Two hours of work from yesterday was all gone. So Jim devised up a plan to get back at Dwight.

Jim was famouse for his pranks. There was the stapler in Jelly, future Dwight, him pretending to be Dwight, connecting his phone calls to himself and to many more to say all at once. Being the awesome prankster that he was he knew that he would have to wait for Dwight to not be at his desk. It was around 2:00 when Dwight finally got up from his desk to go to the bathroom ( he ate lunch at his desk to get more work done so Jim couldn't to it then). Knowing Dwight he wouldn't be gone for long so Jim quickly sat in Dwight's chair. He used a pen to pry open Dwight's phone and carefully stuck a piece of clothe by the earthone and then snapped the phone back together.

Jim heard the bathroom door open so hurriedly jumped back into his own seat. Dwight sat back down and was typing something on his computer untill his phone ring. As soon as Dwight picked up his phone Jim picked up his , long ago when Jim first got to Dunnder Mifflin he had managed to to a little snipping and connecting in order to listen into Dwight's phone calls.

" Hello, this is Dwight Schrute it is so nice to be talking to you again Mr. Gult,"

_" Mr. Gult that sounds familiar", _thought Jim but he pushed that thought aside to listen to the conversation.

,"Now let us talk about your deal."

" Okay but you listen to me I want it to be cheaper." said Mr. Gult.

Jim knew that all Dwight would hear is muffling sound because of the cloth.

" What did you say?" asked Dwight.

" You heard me I said that I want the deal to be cheaper for me. I need the paper but I don't want to spend all of my money on it." responded Mr. Gult.

But all Dwight could hear is " _muffle, muffle, fuff, pfth,_ " and so on.

" I don't think that I quite understand." said a confused Dwight.

Jim couldn't understand either, why was Dwight being so polite?

" Now you listen to me son if you don't say something out of your mouth logical I'm going to take my buisness to Staples or some other place."

" Ummm?" was all that Dwight could say to all of the muffled sounds that he was hearing.

" That's it I'm out of this deal." shouted Mr. Gult and he hung up the phone hard.

When Dwight put down the phone his face was pale white Jim didn't know why so he decided to make one of his funny remarks.

" So how did your phone call go." said Jim innocently.

" Oh I don't know why don't you ask my biggest client Mr. Gult!!!" yelled Dwight.

" Oh, er, I, ummmm." stammered Jim.

Dwight got up and headed straight toward Micheal's office, "MICHEAL!"


	2. Micheal's Brilliant Idea

**I do not own The Office.**

**Sorry for any spelling/grammar mistakes.**

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" Micheal this has to stop!" yelled Dwight to Micheal in his office.

" What?" asked Micheal who was startled by Dwight's sudden approach.

" Jim, has just made me lose my biggest client, Mr. Gult!"

Then Jim came rushing into Micheal's office trying to explain himself.

" Dwight-" he began.

" And here is the moron himself. Micheal you must fire Jim he lost Dunnder Mifflin a ton of money because of his stupid prank."

" Dwight we have already been through this a couple years ago." said Micheal.

" And we are going through it again!"

" Whoa, listen Dwight you just need to calm down I'm sorry I didn't know that you were on an important phone call."

" No you listen to me-"

"SILENCE!" yelled Micheal.

They both stopped immediately.

" Thank you, now I have an idea. We are going to settle this the old fashioned way just like the Americans and the Japanese did back like a hundred years ago."

" Okay great, all I need is some baking soda, gun powder, and a match and we're in business." said Dwight.

" No Dwight you are not going to drop a bomb on Jim corporate would never allow it, believe me I've tried." and Micheal coughed the word Toby," You and Jim are going to have a war."

" What? Micheal seriously don't you think that that is a little too much?" asked Jim.

" Great, I will get all of my knife's ready. Now, where did I put my num chucks...."

" Not a war, war a prank war. You know with whoopee cushions, and prank phone calls, and fake vomit."

" Now that is a crazy idea and a very stupid one, too." said Jim

" What's wrong are you chicken?" asked Dwight and he and Micheal started doing chicken sounds.

" All right fine I'll do it but it's only going to prove that I'm awesome at pranks."

" Yeah right... so Micheal what happens if I win."

" If you win then Jim can never do his pranks again."

" And if I win?" asked Jim.

" Then you can continue doing your pranks and Dwight can't complain about them."

" Deal." said Dwight and he spit on his hand and held it out to Jim.

" Not that's okay, how about an air shake."

"Fine." and they air shook.

" Very good, now if you could excuse me for one second." and he went out to the main office, " Can I please have every ones attention, Dwight," Dwight who was now standing next to Micheal raised up his arms and yelled Yeah," and Jim," who simply just sighed, " will be having a prank war, any of you are welcome to join sides if you want to, and that is what is one the news today." and Micheal went back into his office.

Jim sat down as he would usually sit down while Dwight was sitting down very slowly without taking his eyes of Jim.

_" Oh this is going to be fun." _thought Jim sarcastically but then with another look at Dwight he thought, _" This is going to be fun."_with no sarcasm.


	3. Taking Sides

**I do not own The Office.**

**Sorry for any spelling/ grammar mistakes.**

After several tense moments between Jim and Dwight, Dwight jumped up and said, " Okay every body as you all know Jim and I are in a prank war. But, Micheal also said that you can take sides. So, don't be shy stand up if you want to join the winners team."

" I'll do it." said Andy and he stood up.

" Andy, don't feed the fire." said Phyllis.

" Shut it Phyllis." demanded Dwight.

" You know what I won't, I'm going on Jim's team."

" Great." said Jim, " Okay then anybody else?"

" Me." said Pam as she stood up.

" And me." said Kelly as she stood up.

" Oh, now that's a nice team, four girls." teased Dwight. " Now any body else?"

" I'll do it." said Oscar.

" Aha! Another one for team awesome. Now, all we need is one more person, anyone, anyone at all?"

Angela hesitated she was about to stand up when Creed shot up and exclaimed, " Count me in on this I want to kick some Nazi ass!

" There's no Nazi's here." said Oscar.

" Japanese?"

" No."

"Iraqi's?"

"No. Just Jim."

" Oh. Well that is still sort of awesome."

" Excellent. Now we are all ready for battle, are you scared Jim."

" I don't know you can tell what scared is though if you look in the mirror."

" Yeah!" yelled Kelly, " You go!"

" Thank you."

" Well it's just four barbies against four G.I Joes I wonder whose going to win. The team with the purses and the hair spray, or the team with the machine gun's and grenade's?" questioned Dwight.

" I don't know Dwight, purse's can be pretty deadly if you fill them with the right stuff, and hairspray can be used to temporarily destroy eyesight and sense of smell."

" We'll see about that." said Dwight and he sat down as did every body else.

Then Micheal came out of his office and asked, " What did I miss I was clipping my toenails."

" You clip your toenails in the office?" asked Jim.

" Yes, who doesn't?"

" Well, Micheal you just missed me shoot Jim with a machine gun."

" And you just missed me whacking Dwight with a purse."

" What? God, come on people you never tell me anything important."

Meridith opened her mouth to say something but then Micheal said, " I'm going back into my office to work on my finger nails call me if anything cool happens."

" Will do." said Dwight and then he spook so soft that only Jim could hear, "Will do."

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	4. Group Huddle

**I do not own The Office.**

**Do not take my idea.**

**Sorry for any spelling/grammar mistakes.**

**And I am also sorry for not updating in so long it's been a hectic week and I had a little bit of a writer's block. But just for a head's up a won't be doing any new chapters untill Monday maybe Tuesday because I'll be out of town. So enjoy!**

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When Micheal went back into his office he was feeling very left out, he sighed and sat down_ "This is the thing,"_ he thought to himself, _"You are there boss and apparently your not cool enough, but I 's like inviting your mom to a birthday party, the kid doesn't want his mom he doesn't know. Maybe his mom could be totaly fun at party's. Maybe his mom is an awesome his mom is totally awesome at prank wars and will help the team win....."_

While Micheal was thinking Dwight stood up and said "Group huddle." and everyone on his team huddled together.

"What the hell is that, Dwight." asked Jim.

"Do you mind we're kind of discussing something Jim." answered Dwight.

"All right then, group huddle." and all of his team members gathered around him. Dwight just glared at Jim.

"I need ideas for the pranks I'm going to throw on Jim any suggestions?" asked Dwight.

"Yeah." said Andy, "Maybe we can fill a balloon up with worms and then threw it at Big Tuna."

"That's a horrible idea." said Oscar.

"Then what do you have in mind?" questioned Andy, "Because I apparently have no good ideas."

"We could loosen the bolts in his chair so he falls back."

"So he'd sit down and then he'd fall back and then he'd be in pain?" asked Dwight.

"That's the plan." said Oscar.

Then Dwight looked over at Creed, "Whey haven't you talked yet?"

"Oh, we were supposed to talk at these things?"

Meanwhile over at Jim's group huddle they were having some good ideas themselves.

"So Kelly you were thinking of secretly painting green nail polish on Dwight?"

"Yeah, Jim," said Kelly, "Can you imagine it Dwight will be like omg like why am I wearing this hideous nail polish, it's like so out of fashion."

"Okay, we'll gat back to you on that one, anyone else."

"I have one." said Pam.

"Shot.' said Jim giving her one of his smiles.

"We could send Dwight an email pretending to be his karate master,"

**authors note: for those of you who don't know Dwight takes karate which is from The Fight.**

", saying that he want's Dwight to come over and fight him to see that he is truly ready for the next belt."

"That is awesome Pam just awesome. I'll send an anonymous email saying that."

"Do you think that it will work?" asked Phyllis.

"Dwight would do anything for the next belt." confirmed Jim and the group huddle was over.


	5. Black Belt

**I do not own The Office.**

**Special thanks to my friend hurkydoesntknow (hurky).Hurky gave me a really cool idea of what to do in this chapter. **

**I am sorry for any spelling/grammar mistakes. And that I will not be posting new chapters in any of my stories until Friday maybe Saturday because I'm going to Cape enjoy!**

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The next day Jim decided to put his prank into action. He signaled Pam to write and send the email, this is what she wrote,

_My pupil you are almost ready to move up to the black belt the most sacred of all belts. You have been trained long and hard over these past years and I think that it is time , but before you get the honour you must come to the dojo to fight me.I may not look like I'm ready but I am. Put a surprise attack on lose you still have much to learn but if you win you will be a karate master.I look forward to fighting you, you may come at any time today .Aragoto._

_Your Sensi._

Pam was satisfied with it and clicked send, a couple of seconds later Jim could see that the message had popped up on Dwight's screen, Dwight read it silently to himself his lips mouthing the words, when he finished he looked both excited and unsure.

"Nice try." said Dwight as he deleted the email.

"What?" asked Jim as he looked up from his work.

"You know what you sent me an email saying that I have to fight my Sensi in order to get a black belt."

"I didn't write that, and you better go fight him a black belt is big. I thought that you were only a purple belt?"

"Only a purple belt?Only a purple belt?A purple belt is a proud thing to have, Jim."

" But a black belt is even a prouder thing to have."

"Yes but-"

"But maybe I didn't write that email, maybe your Sensi is waiting for you right now, and maybe if you don't go you could lose his trust and forget about ever getting a black belt at all."

Dwight opened his mouth to say something but then he closed it and got up and went out the door.

Jim smiled to him self _"Too easy."_

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**_At the dojo._**

After fifth-teen minutes of driving Dwight finally arrived at the dojo, took out his purple belt from his pocket, (he would never leave it in his desk after last times incident), and he tied it around his waist. He headed cautiously toward the door and opened it he came in he saw his Sensi smoking a cigarette.

"Aw, Dwight how good to 't you be at work?" asked his Sensi.

Dwight didn't answer he just ran at his Sensi when impact came his Sensi fell down on his knees dropping his cigarette on the carpet.

"Ahh," yelled his Sensi, "What the hell was that!"

"You know what that was!Now let's take this fight over to the mats," and Dwight pushed him onto the mats.

"Dwight!Damnit stop this."

"Come on get up and fight me," and Dwight kicked him and leept on top of him.

"I swear I'm going to call the cops!"

Dwight stopped. "Wait, why aren't you fighting me?"

"Why aren't I fighting you?Hmm, that's a good one, let me see, maybe it's because I'M NOT RETARDED!"

"Oh, my God.I don't.... I thought...the email." stammered Dwight.

"What bloody email!"

"Jim." said Dwight through clenched teeth.

"Well, I don't know who Jim is, but get the hell off of me you smell like smoke and ash."

"Wait, a second I smell it too." Dwight looked around and he saw a huge fire taking place on the had already engulfed the benches and it was starting to creep on to the mats.

"What are you looking- OH MY GOD!Get off of me, get off of me!"

They both scrambled up and went through the back they were a safe distance away Dwight's Sensi gave it to him.

"You f#c*en idiot!You set my dojo on fire! You are going to get a huge bill from me and you are no longer a purple belt." he took the purple belt from Dwight and threw it in the dumpster next to them."Now if you don't mind I'm going to call 911."

Dwight didn't answer he just got into his car and drove back to the office.

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**_At the office._**

Dwight sat down at his desk and glared at Jim.

"Can I help you?" asked Jim with a look of innocents.

"Don't give me that, how dare you do that to me."

"Hey it is a prank war, isn't it?"

"Because of you I lost my purple belt and set the dojo on fire."

"Well, that wasn't expected, but that's cool too."

"Laugh as you can Halpert, but I'm going to get back at you."

"Let me guess,by losening the screws on my chair so I fall back?"

"How did you know that?"

"I'm the pro Dwight and you can't mess with the pro."

"We'll see."


End file.
